BINGO

Getting tired of reading the same old articles on gun control? Try a game of Gunnie BINGO! Check off the phrases below as you go and see how long it takes to get five in a row. Or, go for volume and see how many total boxes you can check off in just one article.

Cool things to do with your mouth

This even makes "Firework" palatable.

H/T to Staghounds from whom this was shamelessly stolen.

My knife.

Because all the cool kids are doing it, and because I only have one knife (I'm not counting bayonets, or other stabby pokey things), here's my knife. I wear dresses and heels to work, and seldom have pockets. This fits on my lanyard along with my badges, and doesn't cause any raised eyebrows. (And North? I'm showing a little blade just so you don't pick on me like you did JayG.)

Oxymoron

In lieu of actual content while we wait for Irene to show up, I present one of the more interesting searches that have shown up in my tiny little corner of the internet:

I mean wouldn't a "milf dog" be a contradiction in terms?

Bacon Peeps, part 2

I found the solution to making the perfect bacon-wrapped Peep. No more under-done bacon and over-melted marshmallow the consistency of shaving cream! Start with pre-cooked bacon that comes in a box, wrap it around your Peep, secure with a toothpick, and then toast. Et viola!

Two more skeptics who tried the combination at first just to be polite are now firmly in the "please pass me another bunny with bacon" camp.

Barbequed Bunnies

At our first reenactment of the year, we’ve begun a tradition of toasting left-over Easter Peeps. Sticks can be used, but a bayonet is preferable.

Give the bunny a bayonet clyster!

Carefully toast the bunny while marshmallow gets puffy, golden brown, and the sugar caramelizes. Cool, and enjoy. The cooling part is very, very important. Don’t even try to remove it from the bayonet until it cools. Trust me on this. The spring of 2002 saw a new member toasting a bunny when it caught on fire. Instead of simply blowing out the flames, he waved the stick back and forth. The bunny flew off the end as though it had been launched from a trebuchet. We dubbed that one "Bunny bin Laden". Or maybe it was just a Peep Zombie. Fire definitely killed it dead.

This year we decided to kick it up a notch. All the cool kids are doing stuff with bacon, so I thought to myself, “Self? How about some inside-out pig candy?”

I had packed some left-over bacon in the cooler. Out it came, and half a slice was wrapped around the bunny and skewered with a toothpick. Down over the brazier it went. Sizzle, sizzle, POP!

“OW! OwowowowowowowowowowowowowowowowOW! What the hell was that??”

That was grease spattering molten sugar onto my hand where it clung like melted polyester. And then the bunny had the audacity to turn to goo and slide off the bayonet.

Okay – on to Round 2. Double wrap the bunny around the x and y axes.

This time we got sizzling, and dripping of grease into the fire, but no spatter. Score! The bunny turned out uber gooey, and the bacon not as crisp as I would have liked, but dang it was surprisingly good. One guy described it as "an amazing confluence of flavors". Inside-out pig candy. Hassenschinkenspeck.

Next time I’ll use a stick – I think the bayonet conducted too much heat, and instead of thick cut bacon, I’ll use the thinnest I can find.

And of course the camera batteries crapped out before the final photo, so no pictures until next time. And there will be a next time ...