Garanimals for Engineers

Shorter Half was on his way to a meeting.

Me: “Did you know that you’re wearing a black and gold tie and a blue and white shirt?”

SH: It’s not black, it’s blue. I carefully checked! (We have this conversation every time he wears that tie.)

Me: “Did you notice that the tie has dots and this shirt has stripes?”

SH: ???

Me: (Sigh.) “Are you wearing a jacket with this?”

SH: “Yes, My gray one.”

Me: “Gray? I didn’t know you had a gray jacket.”

SH: “It’s got black threads and white threads. That makes gray.”

Me: “So you’re wearing a herringbone tweed jacket with a striped shirt and a dotted tie. What’s wrong, couldn’t you find any plaid pants to finish the ensemble?”

I swear, I wanted to put a sticker on him that said “I dressed myself today!” I’ve always said I could make a mint making “Garanimals for Engineers”.

To give credit where it is due, when he arrived at his meeting, SH told the entire assembly “My wife wanted everyone to know that I dressed myself today!”