When I started hanging out and reading gun blogs, I’d notice the posts about knives and other stabbity things, and think “Well isn’t that nice. Another pocket knife. How many does a person need? What’s up with that?”
My dad used to carry what he called a “pen knife”. It was
just a regular old folding pocket knife with either some wood or horn on the
handle. I’m sure he used it for more, but I primarily remember him using it for
sharpening pencils, opening envelopes and for slicing up apples and other
things he wasn’t supposed to bite into because of his dentures.
Michael W. (Cutler to the Stars!) had a box of blades he’d
acquired over the years and offered one to me. I chose a small Leatherman and
threw it in my purse. I don’t think I’ve ever used anything other than the
scissors, and that was mostly to cut tags and labels from recent purchases. I tried
carrying around a little folding knife in my jeans pocket on the weekends and
promptly lost it as it popped out of the stupid shallow pockets when I sat
down. No great loss.
Then Shorter Half gave me a little Gerber Paraframe. It had a clip on it so it stayed put when I clipped
it to my pocket. It would ride around in my pocket for the weekend, used once
in a while, like when I opened a recalcitrant package at a baby shower, or for
sharpening a pencil. Or so I thought.
Then I misplaced the Paraframe and my world collapsed a
little bit. Dang, I had no idea how often I’d been using that knife while
gardening. Or opening letters. Or cutting thread or yarn. Or just opening just
about anything purchased in the toy department that has a zillion clips and
wires and just plain crap involved in the packaging. I found my hand reaching
down for the non-existent knife a lot more than I ever remember using one. After
mourning for a week, I made a list of what I didn’t like about the Paraframe –
namely that it took two hands to open. So I hopped over to Brownell’s and make
a selection. I looked for something with assisted opening, was small, didn’t
have “tactical” in the name, had a clip, and was under $30.
Somehow, without knowing it, I have become assimilated. I
have become what I beheld. And two hours after the knife from Brownell’s
arrived, I found the Paraframe. Clearly, my subconscious is working overtime
getting me to buy more blades.