So, a coworker returned from business travel in Hawaii, and brought back something for us to try.
No, not tiny testicles off of the elusive, yet prolific wild Spam, but macadamia nuts coated in what tastes like Spam. They taste exactly like what you're thinking. There is a good review of them here. I’d add, however, that they are salty. Very salty. So salty, the spot where the nut hit my tongue is still shriveled up and desiccated like a raisin that’s been sitting on the floor of your car all summer with the windows rolled up and no air conditioning. And the Spam-like coating is sort of flesh-colored (if you are of northern european stock) which is a little off-putting. But they are definitely interesting.