Election Tie

I really need to watch what I say in front of people who don’t know me and my hobbies too well.

One of my many jobs is to cover the receptionist's desk while the receptionist goes to lunch each day. It's been a long time since that was my primary job duty, and I'm afraid I've lost some of the tact needed to do a good job.

An upper level manager from Not Our Division was signing a visitor out while I was covering the desk today and I noticed his tie. It had 18th century-like figures on it, and the landmarks in the background were clearly 18th century Boston.

“Nice tie!” I said.

“Good for Election Day!” he said.

“Or Boston Massacre Day!” I said, thinking of the background. Then noticing that the gentleman signing himself out may have possibly been a descendant of Crispus Attucks, I chimed in with “Or Bunker Hill Day, or Yorktown Day!” as I did not want to offend anyone.

I don’t think it worked.

Update

I didn't win the chili cook-off, although they sold more bowls of mine that any other.

On another note, this came to me via North Carolina. Just in time for Halloween. Or Election Day. You pick.

H/T to John M.

Chili update

Thanks everyone for the good advice. Since this is for a cook-off :

1. in which I have no vested interest (I’m just trying to be a team player once so I can go crawl back under my rock for the rest of the winter),

2. I was given a package of “really spicy” venison by BYG who won’t be in town to participate, and

3. I am a spice wimp and can’t really adjust the seasoning on anything “really spicy”,

4. and I have a version of the Marian Plague (I keep coughing up little green men, or blowing them out of my nose. You’re welcome.) and can’t taste anything anyway,

I decided to take a little from column A, and a little from column B, and a little from column C.

I started with an idiot-proof recipe that Michael W. e-mailed me, to wit:

1 pound of ground beef
1 can of Rotel
4 cans of beans
16 oz. jar of salsa

I took T-Bolt’s advice and added other species as well; pork, beef and veal (yes, I know veal is beef).

I added a chopped onion and some garlic while I browned the meat.

Then I browned the venison in the leftover fat from the first batch of meat. It looked and smelled a little bit like bulk sausage. I could see some seasonings had been added.

I stirred everything together in the giant crock-pot, added a can of tomato sauce and some chili powder and stirred. I then tasted the spoon. Eh. Bland. I chalked it up to my cold.

And then I tasted it.

Chromium Yellow.

I bet you didn’t know you could taste yellow, did you?

You can, and it stings.

Venison Chili Recipe Bleg

To sum up ...

The company that resides on the top floor of my office building has challenged us to a chili cook-off this Friday. Bitter Young Guy said "Too bad I won't be here on Friday. I've got some venison in the freezer that has been infused with some sort of uber-hot spicy stuff. It's so hot, the resident 'I'll eat anything spicy' guys won't go near it."

I said "Too bad! You could call it 'Bambi's Revenge!"

Yeah. BYG is donating the venison to the Cause, and I think I've been volunteered to come up with said entry. The thing is, I've never cooked with venison, and, more importantly, I don't do spicy. Seriously. the Carroll Shelby chili mix without the cayenne pepper is at the very limit of what I can tolerate, and that's only with lots of dairy to go with it. Shorter Half has volunteered to taste test, but I need a starting point. Can anyone get me started? I think I've got about a pound and a half of radioactive venison to work with.

Thanks ...

Too bad it doesn't come in bacon

This was sent to me by Bitter Young Guy at work. Soap shaped like an iPhone that smells like grilled sausages.

More soap shaped like beakers and test tubes...

Sushi soap (wasabai scented!)

Taco soap (chipotle salsa-scented)

And lots more. iPods, green eggs and ham, a Palm Pre (bourbon and coke scented), snack foods of all kinds ...

And no, FCC, this vendor wouldn't be able to pick me out of police line-up, so there.

Complete Time Suck

How good is your eye? Should you have been an engineer, or would you have been better majoring in Russian Lit? Read the directions first to see how it's scored. You time does not contribute you your score, but it is recorded so you can see if you can beat your previous score *and* time.



The Eyeball Game

It's really, really addictive.

When I complain about hot weather events ...

... this is why.

I thought I'd take advantage of the full-length mirror in my hotel room this weekend to show you the minimum of what I wear to 18th century events.

First layer, the one against the skin is the shift. Made of linen, it hangs down to about mid shin. Underneath the shift are stockings, garters and shoes. On top of the shift are the stays. The term "corset" isn't used until later. My stays are only partially boned, lace up the front and the back, and haven't been finished -- there isn't any binding around the edges yet. Which is good as I seem to have to keep taking them in. I've also put my hair up, and have covered it with a white linen cap.

Here, I've added my under-petticoat (you'd just call it a skirt), a pair of pockets, and a neck handkerchief to fill in the neckline and protect my skin from the sun. For a formal event, my clothes would be nicer, the neckline a tad lower and much more exposed if indoors. The pockets are a separate item, and are not sewn into each petticoat.

Here is my second petticoat and my bum roll. Technically, the bum roll should be under this petticoat, but if I did that, the petticoat hem would ride up in back. When I'm fully dressed, this won't show, so shhhh, don't tell, okay?

Now I've added my work gown with the back looped up a la polonaise, and a work apron that is tucked up behind. The ideal figure at this time was a cone, topped by an inverted cone. Or to look at it another way -- the bigger I make my hips look, the smaller my waist looks. I then take what looks like a giant 14" long tongue depressor called a busk, and slide it down the front of my stays to give me a nice straight front line. (Remember that cone shape.) The busk is one reason you see women in 18th century portraits sitting with their knees apart. Trust me on this.
I'd then add a shallow-crowned straw hat tipped forward over my forehead a bit, or a black silk bonnet, depending on the weather.

And this is why I get a little cranky when the temperature tops 100 degrees.