R. Lee Ermey commercial

He looks scarier without a hat.

A Slipcover

When Sweet Daughter got Goldie, the rocking chair in her room had to go. It blocked the view of the aquarium from her bed, and we’d outgrown it. As in she didn’t fit on my lap at story-time anymore. So I kept an eye out for a small chair that would fit in that spot in her room – low enough to see over, but big enough to curl up in and read. Well, we were heading out to do errands one day, and our local thrift store-type place had a chair on the porch that invited a closer look. It was the right size, it was in excellent shape, and the price couldn’t be beat ($5!), but dang, it was ugly. Let me tell you that few things clash with burnt orange and harvest gold plaid like a 1980’s “dusty rose” rug, and pale violet walls. At least it had the advantage of being mostly right angles and straight lines, which would make it easier to cover.

So home it went, and SD picked a fabric she liked. (Excellent taste. She chose a Waverly print that, fortunately, was on sale. A lot on sale.) I pre-washed and dried it and waited for that whole “center brain” thing to shift out of neutral. This Monday morning I woke up in full math-brain mode figuring how to cut the front out of mostly one piece. The interior depth of the arms was the same as half the width of the seat, so I could cut down the middle part of the way, up the interior sides of the arms, and across. I measured up the front and back along the arms and since the front and back of the chair were the same width, added some seam allowances, and I tore myself a rectangle of fabric. Yes, tore. Most fabric (unless it’s twill) is woven at right angles, and tearing will give you a perfectly square piece without having to worry about wavy cutting lines.

Here's the fabric going up the front, and across the arms to the very back of the chair. Notice we've got the pattern running "up", and a flower motif somewhat centered.

Here, I've ripped the fabric lengthwise to get a perfectly straight and square piece. This is the right front corner, and right side of the chair.

Here I've cut down part-way down the middle of the rectangle, folded the ends down, and cut the center flap free. The math part of my brain was going gangbusters!

I stitched up the front interior arm seams, then cut side panels for the outside of the chair. The front was an inch higher than the back, so I angled it appropriately, and made sure that the pattern was still running “up”. I sewed the top and front seams, and reinforced all the seams with some top-stitching.

Here is the side panel sewn on.

Now somewhere around this point the coffee kicked in. I don’t generally drink coffee, especially with French Vanilla creamer. And sugar. On ice. The next section is a bit of a blur, but luckily I transitioned from the “math” to the “art” parts of my brain right on cue. After cutting a scrap piece of canvas for the part of the seat that nobody will see, and sewing that to the front and side pieces, I took what was left of my rapidly dwindling supply of fabric (who knew that a chair with a 37” square footprint would end up using 4 yards of 54” fabric?) and cut a piece for the back of the seat, keeping the pattern running “up”, and managing to sort of center the floral design. I got that neatly seamed in place, and then started fiddling with the sides of the backrest.

Here's the front, pretty much done.

Here's where I've fiddled with the sides of the backrest, and pinned it all in place.

Let’s just say I got really lucky, and managed to piece two scraps together so that the seam wasn’t very noticeable. You can see the seam just left of center.

So, now I’ve pinned the back on, and I’m fitting around the corners with plans to topstitch it all. The math part of my brain hat deals with the precise angles and seams is long gone. I get the back on with plans to put giant snaps down the side edges, once I get some snaps, and I mark the hem and sew that in.

The back panel pinned on.

The back panel sewn on.

I take what’s left of my scraps, and find a piece that sort of has that same flower motif on it for one side of the cushion, and whatever is left for the other side. The sides are pieced together with 3 scraps. I realize I’ve forgotten the golden rule of upholstery zippers, which is “go long – you can always cut off the extra”. So with a zipper about seven inches too short, I get creative. Let’s just say I’m glad I picked up a cheap separating zipper. I summon the last of my strength, get the cushion in the new cover (raking my forearm with a forgotten pin in the process), stick on the chair, and voila! My first slipcover since the Berlin Wall fell.

Not bad for a $5 chair! And the best part is that when it gets dirty, I can take it off, and throw it in the washer.

The weekend was good.

It included shooting.

I also picked up 4 big boxes of WWB at Wally World. The nice young man with the great hankin’ grommets in his ears and the bad ink sleeves seemed a little confused with the middle-aged mom with complete with the polo shirt and plaid headband asked for four boxes of 9mm Luger. “No, the big boxes. Yes. The ones that say ‘100’. Thank you!” Not his usual customer, I’m guessing.

First fireworks for Sweet Daughter. The first one went off, and she started shrieking with joy like a steam whistle with the valve stuck open. And we didn’t have to tell her to quiet down because we could hardly hear her over the fireworks anyway. The look on her face was priceless – the grin was brighter than the explosions in the sky. It appears she has inherited my love of things that go “blammo”.

The sewing muse returned long enough for me to slipcover a chair for Sweet Daughter’s room. It took all day, but it was the biggest slipcover job I’ve done so far. The last time I slipcovered cushions, the Berlin Wall was being torn down on TV as I sewed. So, yeah. It’s been a while.

It wasn't just about the taxes.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:

For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing taxes on us without our consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:

For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy of the head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

Go read the whole thing and reflect on reflect on the last sentence:

And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

3 Patriotic Things

(Ed. to add the Missing Man formation video link.)



Here are 3 patriotic things that make me cry.

1. The song America the Beautiful. First verse? I'm fine. Second? Still okay. Third verse? Not a chance in this world that I’m not crying by the end of it.

2.The Missing Man formation. The sight of one plane headed heavenward ... and I come undone.

These two I understand. Others understand. Nobody stares at me (much) when I start mopping my eyes and blowing my nose. But the third one? The National March of the United States of America?

3. The piccolo obbligato in The Stars and Stripes Forever. It's just the piccolo part, and it gets me every dang time. I don’t know why it makes me boo hoo -- it’s not like I’ve ever been terrorized by a piccolo, or anything. And  people do look at me funny for crying during this one.

BTW, did you know Stars and Stripes Forever has lyrics? Ones that don’t begin with “Be kind to your web-footed friends …”

Let martial note in triumph float
And liberty extend its mighty hand
A flag appears 'mid thunderous cheers,
The banner of the Western land.
The emblem of the brave and true
Its folds protect no tyrant crew;
The red and white and starry blue
Is freedom's shield and hope.

Other nations may deem their flags the best
And cheer them with fervid elation
But the flag of the North and South and West
Is the flag of flags, the flag of Freedom's nation.

Hurrah for the flag of the free!
May it wave as our standard forever,
The gem of the land and the sea,
The banner of the right.
Let despots remember the day
When our fathers with mighty endeavor
Proclaimed as they marched to the fray
That by their might and by their right
It waves forever.

Let eagle shriek from lofty peak
The never-ending watchword of our land;
Let summer breeze waft through the trees
The echo of the chorus grand.
Sing out for liberty and light,
Sing out for freedom and the right.
Sing out for Union and its might,
O patriotic sons.

Other nations may deem their flags the best
And cheer them with fervid elation,
But the flag of the North and South and West
Is the flag of flags, the flag of Freedom's nation.

Hurrah for the flag of the free.
May it wave as our standard forever
The gem of the land and the sea,
The banner of the right.
Let despots remember the day
When our fathers with mighty endeavor
Proclaimed as they marched to the fray
That by their might and by their right
It waves forever.

For all the “Camouflage People”

Sweet Daughter started drawing flag pictures around Memorial Day. We had done our best to explain how Memorial Day was to honor those people in uniform that keep us safe here in the United States. (We left out the part about honoring the ones that died. She’s four, and we figure five is old enough to introduce that buzzkill.) She remembered the “camouflage people” from our event at Petersburg in April, and she knows that there is evil in the world. In her case it takes the form of the Big, Bad Wolf in her dreams, but she understands that there are bad guys around and that special people exist to help keep her safe from them. Whether it’s a soldier, policeman or parent, some people step up when things go bad.

Her first flag picture was one of our house with a flag, and I was instructed to give it to a “Camouflage Person”. I tucked it away to put in the “forever box”, but I got busted. We were in line at the grocery store when she noticed a gentleman in uniform behind us.

“Momma! A camouflage guy! Where’s that picture I drew??”

“Ummm, I don’t have it with me, honey. It’s too big to carry in my purse.” (Yeah, that’s it!)

So she went home, drew a smaller one which she folded in half and tucked it in my purse with a reminder to give it to the next CP I saw. I carried it around for a week or so when I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few last-minute items for our trip to Williamsburg. The parking lot was mostly empty -- except for the car parked way over to the side with the guy in ACUs rummaging around in his very large, very full camouflage bag in the trunk.

Crap. I was hoping SD would be with me when this happened. I don’t do so well with strangers and she has no problem with them. But I promised, so I walked over, folded drawing in hand.

“Um, excuse me.”

He looked up. He looked tired and edgy. “Yes, ma’am?” He sounded tired and edgy, too.

“Uh, my-four-year-old-daughter-drew-this-and-asked-that-I-give-it-to-the-next-person-in-uniform-that-I-saw” I stammered as I kind of pushed the paper towards him. I felt like I was interrupting something.

He very politely opened it, looked at it, and soberly said “thank you, ma’am” before folding it back up and stuffing it in his bag.

I managed to blurt out, “No, thank you” before turning tail and hurrying into the store while wiping tears off of my face. I felt as though I’d made him feel worse, and I felt selfish, and small.

So. Here is the first picture that I was instructed to give to a Camouflage Person. I’m posting it to share it with any CP that would be happy to have it. Know that a four-year-old girl and her parents are praying for you, and that we're really glad you're keeping us safe.

Going out to eat tomorrow night!

Why? Because as of July 1st, concealed carry permit holders in Virginia may carry a concealed firearm for self-defense in restaurants that serve alcohol, provided they do not consume alcohol. Anyone else?